Counsellor in Leeds, specialising in loss, anxiety, wellbeing. Who am I? A cookie monster, British Born Chinese, a MCU fan (that’s geek to you if you don't know). Most importantly, someone who wants to help you understand and process your pain, to be more at ease in life and hopeful about the future.

The loss of people or things can bring anxiety and depression as we struggle to take care of our own needs and wellbeing. By focusing on the root of the matter, we can make some lasting and meaningful changes.

The way we talk to others and ourselves is a window to what’s going on inside. My counselling space, ‘A Space For’ is a place for you to explore what that is. We can be too easily swept up in the day-to-day and in our long ingrained habits and beliefs that it takes dedicated time and focus to unravel what really is causing us pain, the grudges and guilt. What really is behind the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ that we say?

I have a focus on bereavement counselling as I believe that all pain can be attributed to loss and grief over a life that was or a life that could have been. The theories of grief can help us make sense of our anguish when we lose a relationship, a job, as well as the passing of a loved one.

Responses to grief can be broadly placed in two camps: restorative orientation or loss orientation (Dual Process Model of Grief by Stroebe and Schut). Some people find it easier to place their energy into getting on with the rest of life, preoccupying themselves with the practical and controllable sides of life. Others are floored and swept up in the waves of loss. No side is wrong. We need to experience both.

Counselling can be valuable to those who have become stuck in the restorative orientation. In order to get by each hour, let alone each day, they detach from their feelings of loss and sometimes with their feelings entirely, the positives as well. A counsellor can be a friendly companion to support you explore loss so that you don’t feel completely drowned by it.

On the other hand, if you have been stuck in loss orientation for a while and feel the need to get up and go (such as pressure from family or from work), but haven’t found that motivation, counselling can help you explore the barriers.

My general approach is person-centred with a goal of helping you identify what the mismatch is between where you currently are and where you want to be. I believe that once we truly understand and accept the difference, we can begin to figure out how to bridge the gap. 

Some people use prescription drugs to manage their health and may struggle with their side effects or find withdrawing from them difficult. Whilst it is important to follow medically qualified advice on the correct steps to take, I can also offer you additional therapeutic support to help you cope with these challenges.